License to Thrill

You know who it concerns

2006-04-05T20:27:00.000-07:00

And is that what you call tact?
You're as subtle as a brick in the small of my back.
So let's end this call, and end this conversation.
and is that what you call a getaway?
well tell me what you got away with.
cause you left the frays from the ties you severed
when you say best friends means friends forever

So, is that what you call a getaway?
Well tell me what you got away with.
Cause I've seen more spine in jellyfish.
I've seen more guts in eleven-year-old kids.
Have another drink and drive yourself home.
I hope there's ice on all the roads.
And you can think of me when you forget your seatbelt,
and again when your head goes through the windshield.-Brand New

Note: This will probally be my last blog on this site. It's been fun, but sometimes things change

I still haven't found what I'm looking for.

2006-03-29T20:26:00.000-08:00

This is my rant on religion. Religion is man's poor interperetation of what God wants. If you want to know what God wants read the bible. I don't need some asshole telling me what God wants from me. Catholic, Assemblies of God, Mormon, Babtist, you're all stupid. Why are you following some set of rules made up by some dumb-ass who was elected or otherwise picked from a bunch of men. If you want some rules to follow read the bible. Religion limits our limitless God.
"Jesus, Jew, Mohammad - it's true. Jesus, Jew, Mohammad - it's true. All sons of Abraham.-Bono.
Have you ever thought that your religion may be flawed. Well it is. Because religion is mans ideatherefore is inherently flawed. If God is love why is there religious warfare? Because people are stupid.
"I'm uncomfortable in churches because the Christ I love and read about in the Gospels is often not in the churches. Remember, I come from Ireland and I've seen the damage of religious warfare. I am a believer. I don't wear the badge on the outside but it is on the inside."-Bono. "Distance does not decide who is your brother and who is not. The church is going to have to become the conscience of the free market if it's to have any meaning in this world - and stop being its apologist." Bono.
While I'm at it. What is up with the hatred towards gays? Are they not people too?
"I really do not understand the hatred towards gays...it's awful. Some people say they're sinners, and that they don't deserve the right to be married and so on - and they use God's words as an excuse for all of this hate. That's ridiculous; if God is anything, it is love - no matter what race, gender, or sexual orientation. Everyone is created equal in the eyes of the Lord."-Bono
We all sin. So do gays. If His love isn't enough to cover thier sins, then it isn't enough to cover ours.
To clear some things up: I have no problem with tradition. If you feel that not eating meat on friday is a way to remember Jesus dying for us great. If you think that one has too or else their singing you're an ass.
Then thier is religious bashing. You people are the worst. How can an AG member ridicule Catholics about the pope when they have some dumb fuck in missorri giving them a set of rules.
This rant was not edited so hold your comments on my spelling, syntax and such.

This love is like a drop in the ocean

2006-03-14T14:44:00.000-08:00

Take these shoes
Click clacking down some dead end street
Take these shoes
And make them fit
Take this shirt
Polyester white trash made in nowhere
Take this shirt
And make it clean, clean
Take this soul
Stranded in some skin and bones
Take this soul
And make it sing. . .
. . . Take these hands
Teach them what to carry
Take these hands
Don't make a fist
Take this mouth
So quick to criticise
Take this mouth
Give it a kiss. . . U2 "Yahweh"

My Freind Peter- Just thought this song was messed up

2006-02-20T20:17:00.000-08:00

I dont care who you've been sleeping with these days
You're outta my hair
It's growing just above my smiling face that I wear
Every night I drink myself to sleep
Not thinking about you
Not thinking about anything at all

I don't care who you've been dining with these days
It's more than fair
Much rather be drinking anyways
With my friend Peter
Who lives so fucking far away
Yet not as far as you
Even though you live right down my fucking street

And I'm tired of sleeping with myself
I'm tired, all these drinks and drugs no longer help
I'm tired of lying about not thinking of you
Maybe my friend Peter can tell me what to do

I dont care who you've been kissing on these days
It's out of my hands
and in my mouth with such a pleasant taste
I need a beer to wash it all away without a trace
And then i'll drink 23 more
To wipe this stupid smile off my fucking face

Not to disapoint anyone looking for a doom and gloom post

2006-02-15T19:10:00.000-08:00

But no doom and gloom in sight. Not much to post when your not bathing in misery. sorry

I went to heaven, but couldn't get in,
For what I have done.
I said please take me, they said you're crazy
you had too much fun.-Unwritten Law

Yep

2006-02-14T21:26:00.000-08:00

Update: Just fucking Call. There's far too much to explain.

This is my suicide note. Somebody save me

2006-01-23T19:32:00.000-08:00

Now that i got your attention. I have an announcement. No, it's not that i can't spell(bastards), it's that i'm a woman. I really am. I am a stereotypical woman except for the smoking and swearing. I'm a woman. Wow. Well, i'm gonna go drink a few cosmos and eat a bowl of bon bons. Goodnight. (and in case you were wondering i do have a headache)

Hide the Cutlery

Peace out

2006-01-07T22:03:00.000-08:00

When you were born, you cried and the people smiled. Live your life so that when you die you smile and others cry.- I belive an indian proverb

In this new re-evaulation of life, i'm finding that it really is the moments , people, and feelings that are most important. i have to tell myself all day that's it's only time and money. If my days are allready numbered, and money is voletile why spend all this effort on them? i feel to really become something you need to make the most of every moment adn let God bring you what you really need. He says in the bible if He makes sure the birds of the sky, the fish in the sea and even the beasts on the earth are taking care of, How much more does he care about you. So take every oppritunity, take every cahnce, let God take care of you while you take care of someone else.

Still i'm convinced wondering what if is the worst thing there is.-Straylight Run

I'm just a notch in your bedpost, but your just a line in a song.

2006-01-06T23:21:00.000-08:00

New Years resolutions.

1. Don't drink and drive(or blog)
2. Stop smoking.(I figure the third year has to be a charm)
3. Start working out. ( I know i don't need to)
4. Start acting more on feelings than my usual over- thought method
5. Read more
6. Come up with more reslolutions

There's someone down below blowing you a kiss.
They watch from their windows
as all arms fall to their sides,
and all eyes fix on the death of tomorrow.
And you found everything you need
to make a life complete,
completely revolting and they have safety and relief
For sale down the street.
I see you in line every day -Alkaline Trio

Such a basket case, hide the cutlery.

2006-01-04T21:00:00.000-08:00

Well, i got a new car. that is however the least interseting thing happening at the moment. Sometimes i think God likes to put us in our place. Make one smart comment, and he'll call you on it. Also on that note., I'm pretty sure he like to give you just enough rope to screw up, just to yank ya back in. So, yeah. . . that my two cents of the day.

Peace out.

Come on, Come on, put your hands into the fire. - Thirteen Senses

Personality test # 1,897,798,697,879

2005-12-31T09:38:00.000-08:00

Advanced Global Personality Test Results

Extraversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	86%
Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	66%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Accommodation	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Interdependence	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Intellectual	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Mystical	\|\|\|\|\|\|	23%
Artistic	\|\|	10%
Religious	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Hedonism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	76%
Materialism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Narcissism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Adventurousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Work ethic	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Self absorbed	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Conflict seeking	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Need to dominate	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%

Romantic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Avoidant	\|\|\|\|	16%
Anti-authority	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Wealth	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%
Dependency	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Change averse	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Cautiousness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Individuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	43%
Sexuality	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	70%
Peter pan complex	\|\|\|\|	16%
Physical security	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	90%
Physical Fitness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	84%
Histrionic	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	50%
Paranoia	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	36%
Vanity	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Hypersensitivity	\|\|\|\|\|\|	30%
Female cliche	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%

Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

Quotes of the year-Part 1

2005-12-16T10:17:00.000-08:00

You've been waiting for them and here they are. Not edited for your enjoyment. These are the best qoutes from myslef and you my friends. To anyone who who can guess who said each of these i give then 20 bucks. Have fun.

Hey i got the tickets. To the gun show.
free fooo
I know what your trying but she's asexual
You ate my pizza, you ate my pizza.
yes( from a talking shirt)
big black dick cigar
supa fupa
i wish this car had a sunroof
Looks like someone is trying to drink away some pain.
So you can sleep here with me or on the couch.
I'm gonna knock the dust off that pussy
Sounds like she wants to fuck
I swear this mother fucker blows with the wrath of God.
Come here grandma
What's black and blue and lays in Chip's trunk?
I know, i had a beer on the way.
burrrr
I'm goin' straight to the a
You can go home and cut yoursleves together
Only eleven, i thought i'd have to count on both fingers. oh wait i only have 10
"i hurt" where? "everywhere, EVERYWHERE"
I just woke up. No, i'm still driving.
Hey guys i'm drunk.

yeah, it's pink.

2005-12-08T20:10:00.000-08:00

Hope you like the new layout. Cause if you don't, i don't care.

Anyways i'll post more when something happens.

You live and you burn. -Alkaline Trio

Not sure how this is supposed to feel. Cutting like a red hot knife of surgical steel

2005-12-06T13:59:00.000-08:00

Well, i case you haven't heard. . .
I wrecked my car
I'm looking at vw's
I'm going back to college
I'm sexier than ever.

"Here we are again with handguns for hearts
They had a master plan, wanted to tear us apart
Nothing to hold, all hope deleted
Our demise has been completed now
Nowhere left to go but down
The flames of hell they give me hope, I drown. . .
We are the walking dead, we hold this ghost in our arms
We take our daily breath and thank our unlucky stars
Tried to get by on bread and water
Craving blood poured from the alter now
Not much left to do but drown". . .- Alkaline Trio

I'm Going to take a bath. Peace.

In response to Jerome's last post.

2005-11-24T09:57:00.000-08:00

This generation will be remembered for 3 reasons. The internet, the war on terror, and how we let an entire continent go up in flames while we stood around with watering cans. - Bono

The years best quotes.

2005-11-08T21:06:00.000-08:00

Email me your favourite quote from people you know.

It's snowin'

2005-10-24T22:32:00.000-07:00

Oh yeah. It's snowi'n and i love it. i met gretchen while it was snowin'. most of my favourite memories are in the snow. anyways, snow fuckinking rocks. i'm abuot drunk as well........as drunk as i can get so........yeah......... i'm drunk. anyways it's snowin' so fuck you it's snowin'.

. . . and then i got some useful advice.

2005-10-17T20:56:00.000-07:00

many of you have tried to give me advice. Most of which i took with a smile and disregarged. then one day, yesterday, the jerome was in pa. We talked. he gave some books from the famous jerome book collection. Finally some useful advice. It turns out that some of the previous advice was partially useful. But the execution of was off. thank you jerome. You are an inspiration.

P.S.- Straylight Run is awesome.

So it's been awhile

2005-10-06T21:51:00.000-07:00

basically the same old shit. I watched the entire first season of the o.c. in two days. That's my excitement. I also have a new outlook on life. More like a theory. Basically things go bad when i put effort inot them. So the ratio of effort to results is better when i put less effort into things. My lazinesss has prevailed again. I'll catch ya later. Call me or somethin'

As it turns out i'm not supposed to be a bum

2005-09-02T19:38:00.000-07:00

Career Inventory Test Results

Extroversion	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	83%
Emotional Stability	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	60%
Orderliness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	56%
Altruism	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	26%
Inquisitiveness	\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|	63%

You are an Executive, possible professions include - program designer, attorney, administrator, office manager, chemical engineer, sales manager, logistics consultant, franchise owner, new business developer, personnel manager, investment banker, labor relations, management trainer, credit investigator, mortgage broker, corporate team trainer, environmental engineer, biomedical engineer, business consultant, educational consultant, personal financial planner, network integration specialist, media planner/buyer.

Take Free Career Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

To claim the victory Jesus won.

2005-07-05T19:01:00.000-07:00

'We must become the change we want to see in the world' -Mahatma Gandhi
"If our tears do not lead us to act then we have lost the reason of our humanity, which is compassion."- Dalai Lama

this is my public service post. You, yes you dumbass, need to join the following organiztions. Make the world a better place and accomplish something for a change.

ONE- make poverty history. We believe that allocating an additional ONE percent of the U.S. budget toward providing basic needs like health, education, clean water and food, would transform the futures and hopes of an entire generation of the poorest countries.
Amnesty International- Take action for human rights!
46664- Nelson Mendela Foundation. Nelson Mandela - former Robben Island prisoner number 46664 - is the driving force behind a worldwide music-led campaign to raise global awareness about HIV/Aids and funds to fight the pandemic in Southern Africa.

If for nothing else check out the sites. make a difference. Claim the victory jesus won.Broken bottles under children's feet,
Bodies strewn across a dead end street,
But I won't heed the battle call,
It puts my back up, puts my back up against the wall.-U2

Weekend went well.

2005-07-04T19:57:00.000-07:00

That's about it.

Well, here goes everything,

2005-06-28T21:01:00.000-07:00

Weeknd plans are in the making. Hotel-yes. Hot girl-yes. Bear-yes. Bubbles-yes. My secrect surprise- well, there's the problem. I'm not sure if i'm ready. I want to. But should i? how will she react? this is risky business. risky business. am i ready for what i'm about to do? I don't know. We'll see how everything goes.

I drive naked through the park.

2005-06-27T19:21:00.000-07:00

Well. Not has been happenin' back here in pa. Same wonderful shit different day. The Bear and i are going to columbus this weekend. Fireworks, oh yeah. Two bwdroom hilton sweet, bubbles, me, and more me. Oh yeah, and Gretchen. So if you can't get ahold of me i'll allready be ahold of. Get it. Fuckers. Anyways. i got some plans. We'll see what happens.

hmmm...

2005-06-16T20:25:00.000-07:00

I came across a song today that i haven't heard in a while. It really made me think about the difference between who we are and what we let people see. I'm a pretty open person, but there are soooo many things things you don't know about. Most of these things you will never know about. I might make it look that i'm allright. Like i have some idea of what's going to happen next. reality. Not a fucking clue. I'm scared, worried, tense, just like anyone else. You're all the same. You're never alone. Just remember, we all have our fronts. A smile is just a mask.

I heard that you were living well
But you don't look like you're living to me.
Although the sparkle is gone,
Your smile is in place so that everyone watching will see.

You've got them all convinced,
that you're so well... - dashboard confessional

What the hell, where's my coookies?

2005-05-25T20:45:00.000-07:00

My cookies, my m&m cookies were eating by a dog. Fuck you dog.

Bet you didn't see this coming.

2005-05-24T01:07:00.000-07:00

I'd like to waste a momnet of everyone who reads this life and look back at the accomplishments of this 19 year old. I have done some things that i can be proud of. I have found the woman i want to marry. Unfortunitley, i current have no way to support the two of us but i'm working on it. I have done what i've said i wanted to do for years. I came to colorado. The real kick in he nuts. I think i'm coming back to pa. After years of complaining, contemplating, and swearing about the place of childhood. I have come to the conclusion, i have left more behind then i am willing to lose. And i'm not just talking about an easy way of life. I have left a job, a home, a family and worst of all my best freind. Please wait for a repreive.(it may come). But, we'll see what the hell happens.

To all who read this, thanks for letting me waste your time.
Pope out

Denver

2005-05-23T21:28:00.000-07:00

So i'm in denver. If you didn't know that then you wern't important enough to tell. I've been staying pretty busy. Physically and mentally. We went to thew mountians twice since i've been here. Got some fucking awesome pics. Been hanging out, chillin, and stuff. In case any of you were wondering i'm still with Gretchen. Sorry ladies. Well, that sums up most of everything so, i'll post more when i feel lik it.

Pope out.

So...

2005-05-16T15:48:00.000-07:00

Well, me and the guitar fag made it to denver. So, here i am on Tom's crazy fucking fast super computer writing this shit to the 4 people who are going to read it. Well that's about it. I'll post more when i damn well feel like it.

Pope out

The Denver Curse

2005-04-23T13:49:00.000-07:00

Yes, it happens to everyone who decides to move to denver. You'll meet the most awesome person ever, right after you decide to go. Damn denver curse.

Anyways, so here's whats up. i am happy. I have two 5ths of smirnoff vodka, a new air mattress, crazy good looks, and i met the greatest person on earth. And talked on her porch till 3:30 last night. Life is grand. Well i've got better shit to do than write to you assholes, so peace out.

Part 2

2005-04-20T10:21:00.000-07:00

11. That there's nothing better than a good friend.
12. that it's important to make every connection possible.
13. That a v6 mustang(or any vehicle for that matter) can be crazy fast if Nichols is driving.
14. that no matter what happens, everything seems to work out in the end.
15. that you need to follow your heart. if you're not going to do something whole heartedly, find something else.
16. that i should take my own advice once in a while.
17. that it's important to take time to look back and see how stupid you were.
18. that you can't live in the past.
19 that nothing stands still. it's either getting closer or getting farther away.
20. That you can do more damage with a pen then with a fist.

thank alissa for this post

2005-04-17T21:35:00.000-07:00

Well, here's what's going on. 25 more days until i move to denver for the summer. Whoop de do. Got a job with the jerome paintin and stuff. driving out with john mayer, i mean jason. Almost done with freshman year of college. Who the hell would have thought i'd make it this far? So here's what i've learned
1. how worthless college is. Why the hell am i paying for college services if i can't even get the fucking classes i want. damn you scheduling.
2. How far i'll go to aviod love, and how far i'll go to get love. That happiness isn't the goal, it's love.
3 how one thing can seem so good but turn into a nightmare.
4. how much i hate pennsylvania.
5. That when you least expect it you'll find someone who is just wonderful.
6. How much i hate deer.
7. how people change, some for the better, some for the worse.
8. that all along my attitude of all or nothing, only applies to material things.
9. That nothing changes, on new year's day
10. that no matter how many time something goes wrong, people will still try again.
To be continued

Come on, put your hands into the fire

2005-04-11T20:56:00.000-07:00

time to get down to it. Never give up, never surrender.
Well, i've started to get ready for seriousness. Had to put something behind me before i could. But that's done. now, on to not smoking.

I'm at a place called vertigo.

2005-03-30T20:46:00.000-08:00

ver·ti·go: A confused, disoriented state of mind.

I don't really know what the hell i want right now. I thought i knew what i wanted but more and more i find i don't know. I always wanted to have a ton of cash to buy myself a sluegh of things. All the things i thought would make me happy just don't seem to cut it anymore. I want as relationship with real meaning, feeling, care. I want/need someone who just wants me for me. The little surfer boy looking, funny, sarcastic, alcoholic i am. Someone who i just want to spend time with and who wants to spend time with me. Someone who i happy just being around me and someone i am happy just to be around. Someone i can hold i my arms and know there's a mutual feeling of content and security. Someone who i can really share emotions with. Someone to love, and someone who loves me.

Fuck a bunch of things

2005-03-29T18:48:00.000-08:00

Fuck mid-terms, fuck pennsylvania, fuck love, and fuck you. I don't fucking care anymore. I'm leaving, not finishing college, getting a job, getting a girl, and gonna say fuck to finish this thought. Fuck. i hate papers, classes, and thinking, the entire mindset of this fucking place . damnit, i need a beer or 9. Fuck. So to sum it up, fuck

Surrond yourself with the best Part 2. + Nichols

2005-03-25T19:01:00.000-08:00

Inveinio posted about surrounding yourself witgh the best. However he didn't know how ture that really is. If you need advise on how to fix your car who better to ask than someone who knows cars or a mechanic? trying to pick up the hot girl at the place where you decided to eat? Tom Nichols. He's the best.
The nichols factor is important. However his outlook on things is even more so. Simply put, he may be the most confident fucker on the planet and is awlays willing to help a mere mortal like me. God bless you nichols.

Pope out.

New!!! Tom's rant #1

2005-03-21T18:45:00.000-08:00

I'm fucking sick of stupid people. People who think that by doing the same thing over and over they'll get some better result. How fucking stupid can you be. If it didn't work the first 14 fucking times it probally won't work this time. Also, i'm sick of guys who are asshole. If you're into the controling asshole type fine. however if you don't have the self respect to get out of the half-ass relationship you're in, you're a fucking dumb ass. I'm also finding that the people around me are becoming more evil and i less evil. Everyone around me for some reason thinks i'm some fucking sex-crazed fuck-tard. If i want to get in someone's pants i don't think i'll need your advise. Can't I actually want a relationship with someone or am I such a dick that it dosen't seem possible.
-Pope out

Qoute of the week: What these bitches want from a nigger?-Chaz

It's about time....

2005-03-21T11:49:00.000-08:00

for a real post. for a post not completely devoted to maing fun of stryder. So here's what's up. The same old shit. It all comes down to how much a hate this place and how much i feel for a certian someone. Me. that's right me. fuck you all. It's time for number one. So, if i seem like an ass the next couple of weeks or seem to buy everything i want. Deal with it. I'm sick of other people. Pope out.

P.s. i've been drinking and yes it's only 3:00pm. So if this posts seems at all fucked up deal with it.

Stryder

2005-03-20T21:25:00.000-08:00

What a dumb fucking name. I mean come on. Stryder? It sounds like a gay mexican cowboy's name. You've probally read my previous posts about how he's a smurfer among other shit. Smurfer.
Anyways, it turned out that he is not dead and that he unfortunitly made it home alive. We will still be selling his belongings . This is the list of stryders shit that we will be selling.

1. A fucking panzy ass v6 mustang.
2. Richard simmons type clothing.(That would be ridiculously gay clothing)
3. Didlos in all shapes and sizes
4. A penis enlarger( That aparently dosen't work)
5. A how to smurf other people's smurf instructional video.
6. A partacially used pack of tube socks.
7. Literally a ton of gay porn videos(including the one from the night he got me, i mean someone else drunk)

Morals

2005-03-18T22:21:00.000-08:00

I try to listen to my morals, but when i do all i hear is the oceanic sound you get when you hold a seashell to your ear.

Stryder = Papa Smurf

Jason is white, Stryder is gay. Jerome is tan, and Stryder is still a fag.

Loser of the Week!!! #2

2005-03-14T19:39:00.000-08:00

This weeks loser is, that's right Stryder. You may have seen his blog(Without risk there can be no glory). He thinks he's the shit, however in reality he is just plain shit. He even drives a v6 mustang. I mean come on a v6. My left nut has more power than a v6. This is also the kind of guy who (not to get him in trouble so i'll use the word smurf and you let your imagination go) smurfs other people smurf. Sometimes even before they are one's smurf. That damn smurfer. You may have even saw his comment on my 2nd to last post. He's all talkand all gay.

All that you can't leave behind.

2005-03-13T22:21:00.000-08:00

Thought i would post. I've been out with this girl stef (yes a girl you fuckers) a couple of times now and i think she's awesome. Spring break ended today. I got to see dave and alissa this weekend. That's about for now. I'll post more later. Pope out.

You've got to leave it behind
All that you fashion
All that you make
All that you build
All that you break
All that you measure
All that you steal
All this you can leave behind
All that you reason
All that you sense
All that you speak
All you dress up
All that you scheme…-U2 "Walk on"

Tom Nichols is dead!!!!!!

2005-03-09T21:14:00.000-08:00

That's right, horrible plane crash. No suvivours.

On a happy note, all of his belongings we be sold at crazy low prices. All proceedes will go to the Thomas Smith foundation for underage drinking and lung cancer.

Life Tomstyle

2005-03-07T20:23:00.000-08:00

Well, where should i start. I've have gone out with this awesome person, Stef, a few times in the last week. I think she's great ,and if don't, fuck you. Tom and jerome came home. jerome left friday and tom is leaving wednesday. it's been nice having both bastards home. I didn't get to spend much time with the jerome but Tom, jase, and i have been doing all kinds of shit lately. Anyways, gonna go do something. Peace out.

NEW!!! Loser of the week

2005-02-21T19:35:00.000-08:00

That's right folks. Every week i'll will post a loser of the week. This week's loser is(sorry chip not you) Alissa. Three electronic break ups with the same person.
keep it up guys. You might just make this blog worth reading.

I fucking hate deer.

2005-02-10T22:26:00.000-08:00

I hit a deer wednesday night in the middle of scenery hill. I mean right in the fucking middle of town. So, i get the damage report from powells auto body. 837 fucking dollars. So i call my uncle gary. god bless him. I went to his shop at 4 o'clock. Got home at 1:15. Since he's doin all of the labour for free, i"m helping him with the other shit around the garage. His total damage report. Well...............not 837 dollars. and he does great work. So i'd like to send a big fuck you to all the deer who read this. This fall i'm going to kill everyone of those mofoes i see.

The Unforgettable Fire

2005-02-07T20:41:00.000-08:00

And so we are told this is the golden age
And gold is the reason for the wars we wage.-U2

Year after year, month after month, day after day, hour after hour, minute after minute, moment after momnet. Is it getting better, or do you feel the same?

2005-01-27T19:54:00.000-08:00

Well i haven't posted in a while so here's what's up. My shoulder is fucked.(this time pretty bad). tom N. is still a wisker biscuit. Yeah...so....well.....um.......i'll post more when something happens in this god forsaken place.

hmmm

2005-01-20T20:32:00.000-08:00

Well i had a good evening. Went to bean. Dave pahanish was playing. He's fucking awesome. Was there with Laura, Chip, Carson, and one of Laura's friends. It was fun.

Jason's new name is Strut Fuck

Have you come here for forgiveness,
Have you come to raise the dead
Have you come here to play Jesus to the lepers in your head-U2

yeah

2005-01-18T14:49:00.000-08:00

It's when you don't expect it, good things happen. It's when you stop looking you find what you're looking for. Life's is going well. There's no news like bad news. So therefore, i have nothing to post.

Martin Luther Knig Jr. Day- Pride in the name of love.

2005-01-17T10:13:00.000-08:00

Early morning, April 4.
A shot rings out in the Memphis sky.
Free at last, they took your life,
But they could not take your pride.
In the name of love - U2 Pride. A tribute to Martin Luther King Jr.

Nothing to post

2005-01-15T11:08:00.000-08:00

Yeah this sucks. This blog is going down hill faster than a train that lost it's fucking brakes. There's just nothing to write about. Well, other than that i found a girl i'm interested in but that's all. We'll i'm going to watch the game around 4:00 so have a good day you useless fucking cunts.

You're a baffoon!!!

2005-01-14T13:13:00.000-08:00

Yeah you are. The last few days have been nice. time with old friends and new ones. Not much to post now. This blog used to be a rant about my hopeless life but now, there's light. So, have a great fucking day you cunt.

I move on

2005-01-11T14:41:00.000-08:00

Boring ass day at work. I swear we hire the dumbest fucks on the face of the face of the earth. We hire one dumb person, then there even dumber family members. Anyways, I feel beter than normal. It could be this shit they gave me for my shoulder,but i think it's more than that. I feel free.(and pretty). I'm back, with an even stronger don't give a fuck attitude.

First day of classes

2005-01-10T20:33:00.001-08:00

Not bad at all. I got two classes with my favourite professor. Blossel. The other classes aren't too bad either. Blossel + Open book and note tests. Oh fuckin' yeah. Brandon M's friend Courtney said i remind her of colin ferrell. This makes two people. Maybe i should try to quit smoking and swearing. Ummm , Fuck it. Well, gotta wake up for work, so, i'm gonna drink a little more than sleep.

First day of classes

2005-01-10T20:33:00.000-08:00

This plastic little place is just a step amongst the stairs

2005-01-09T13:57:00.001-08:00

I have some things to say. Things to get off my chest. I hate not being told the truth. Leaving things out is also fucking retarded. If you're too much of a fucking panzy to to tell me what's really going on, don't say anything at all. Just save you're breath.
However not everything is bad. I still have some great friends. tAnd things have been working out for the best lately. I start classes tommorow at 8 in the fucking mourning. Maybe i should get a drink before then. Anyways thanx to those who have been there. You're all awesome people and I can't thank you enough.

I know it's not considered right
The way I live my days and nights
I always thought I'd rather be considered lucky than good
I know it's not considered right
And everyday another fight
I always thought I'd rather be considered lucky than good SR-71

Contemplating life with my freinds smirnoff and beretta

2005-01-07T18:17:00.000-08:00

Have you ever lost anything you loved? Have you ever just wanted to crawl in a hole? Losing something sucks. It's even worse when you purposly let it go to save it. When a situation turns hopeless what are you to do? Nothing. There're some things in life that just can not be replaced. There are some things that will never be the same. this is the end of an era.

Love isn't temporary. However neither is pain.

Last minute addition

2005-01-06T22:06:00.000-08:00

Reassesing some things
1. aim: i hate it and only got it due to peer presure.
2. college: hate it, only going because i'm forced to.
3. Love: i choose to die unhappy and alone.
4. Every decision i've ever made: I can't take them back
5. My final solution: It will hurt to never see you agian but, you're better off.

How it feels to be alone and not believe.

2005-01-06T20:36:00.000-08:00

Hot tub and cafe bean sums up my evening. I love hot tubs.(This subject contians personal info but can be discussed about if asked nicely). Bean was fun. Good band. Got hit on all night.(Just when i thought this place absolutly sucked). Got to share stories with the now high school generation. They'll go far. I gave them some advice and some wisdom. They remind me of myself last year. Happy to get out of school and ready to move on. There's a place in my heart for those fuckers. Well, got better shit to do so, peace.

You'll find out that you're better off without me.(sorry jason, tom, jerome you're stuck with me).

Win a date with Smokey Drinksalot!!

2005-01-04T19:57:00.000-08:00

What a great fucking semester this is going to be. Baring any lottry winnings or someone running me over, i can't see it being any better than last semester. Fucking college. This is turning into the biggest waste of time and money ever. Anyways, hope all you fuckers had a good new years. I hate new years. It's always a dissapointment. Well, i'm gonna go before i this gets any more depressing.

Due to a reassesment of risk aviodance: I'm going to cut my heart out.

You may allready be a winner!!!!
Pick a number between 1-10 to win a date with smokey drinksalot!!!!!

Fuck damn shit bitch ass

2005-01-03T21:44:00.000-08:00

Holy fucking shit.

I won't forget the way you made me feel
I won't regret running away from here- SR-71

When will this end.

2005-01-03T10:47:00.000-08:00

I never thought I'd end up here
Never thought I'd be standing where I am
I guess I kind of thought that it would be easier than this
I guess I was wrong, now, one more time...

'Cause I tried to climb your steps
I tried to chase you down
I tried to see how low
I could get down to the ground
And I tried to earn my way
I tried to tame this mind
You better believe that I have
Tried to be this

When will this end?
It goes on and on
Over and over and over again
Keeps spinning around
I know that it won't stop
'Til I stand down from this for good.

See ya on the other side.

2005-01-02T21:04:00.000-08:00

Are there any queers in the theater tonight?
Get them up against the wall!
There's one in the spotlight, he don't look right to me,
Get him up against the wall!
That one looks jewish!
And that one's a coon!
Who let all of this riff-raff into the room?
There's one smoking a joint,
And another with spots!
If i had my way,
I'd have all of you shot!-Pink Floyd's In the flesh from The Wall

The good times are back.

2005-01-02T20:46:00.000-08:00

God bless Ed Stotka. The funniest fucker i know. Went to stotka's around six. Had some wine and 16 oz. high life cans. Watched a little bit of Total Hip. Ed is having his hip replaced and they gave him a video. Talked to ryan for a while. We took our new cars for a ride. That's about it.

Today's word of wisdom:Yesterday is a whore. Tommorow is vd.

I've come to a corner

2005-01-01T18:39:00.000-08:00

I can't do this anymore. Things have got to complicated. I don't like what i've become. I've become a munipulative asshole, a whining piece of shit, more unhealthy than ever, and worst of all one of those people who destroys themselves over a girl. I used to constantly over emphasize the good so that i put off a good apearence and now i'm just lonely and broken. I liked it better when i didn't care. I still have no regrets for anything i've done. If i went back i'd do it all agian. I hate this place yet i don't move. why?Because by not doing anything, i can't regret doing anything.

Fumbling his confidence
And wond'ring why the world has passed him by
Hoping that he's meant for more than arguments
And failed attempts to fly-Switchfoot

Nothing Changes on New Years Day

2005-01-01T01:49:00.000-08:00

I succesfully pissed off most of my friends. Guess that'll be less people to say goodbye to when i leave. The party(messer's) started out well. I showed up a four. left at about 3:30. After a few attempts to stop me from leaving(i wasn't drunk) i finally got out. I was right when i said that there's something about Alissa. She was the only thing holding me to myself. You ever see something that just makes you want to drive off a bridge? It's even worse if you kinda knew before. I pride myself on being brutally honest. I wish that i was given same sometimes. I will begin agian. To my friends: sorry, but i don't care. To Alissa: you were right. To the past year: fuck you. To: myself: never fall agian.

Though i want to be with you
Be with you night and day
Nothing changes
On new year's day-U2

The Beautiful Letdown

2004-12-29T20:59:00.000-08:00

I found out i broke up with brooke burke. Well, the almost look alike. Wow. Was it for the better? Absofuckingluty. Anyways, i need sleep so i post some other shit tommorow. Maybe. Fuck it

this is your life, are you who you want to be

New years resolution

2004-12-28T20:05:00.000-08:00

This is a list of shit that i will try to do and will probally fail at.

10. Kick Tom N. in the testicles
9. Take jeromes tan off (and find some strong ass chemicals)
8. Find out why the hell anyone reads this blog
7. Learn how to write(Fuckers)
6. Try to out dress Tom N.(I know, easy. Just call queer eye.)
5. Shave Chip's eyebrows
4. Move.( North Cali?)
3. Grow a beard(cause i can)
2. Spend more time with Alissa
1. Learn to Fly

If I could close my eyes forever.

2004-12-28T14:00:00.000-08:00

I want to just lie down and never wake up. Had an argument with my parents about not going to college. I really don't want to go. I think that if i spent the next four years trying to get experince i would come out ahead of everyone in my graduating class. Anyways i'm no deciding weather to move agian. Denver seems less appealing. Northern California seems much better. I'll get back to ya on that.

Never be content

2004-12-26T20:54:00.000-08:00

May i never be happy with good enough or second best. May i never stop striving for better.

Gloria in Te Domine

2004-12-23T12:38:00.000-08:00

It's christmas eve fool. Donya's birthday ended about an hour ago. So merry birthday. In the mist of all the shopping and wrapping and then unwrapping and returning just remember Jesus was born so he could die for you.

One day i'll care.

2004-12-22T13:37:00.000-08:00

I think so at least. Got my grades. Some good, some not so good. Somehow i don't care. The good grades don't make me happy and the bad ones don't make me sad/angry. For once things are going well and the last thing a care about is my education. Fuck college. If i took the cash my parents are spending on college and invested it in a shitty mutual fund i would be ahead of everyone else (finacially) at graduation. The education system is so fucked up it's not even funny. I mean come on, a degree only shows that you completed a bunch of courses. Experience is everything. Well fuck it. It's break and i don't give a damn about college shit. The only thing i'm worried about now is me and what makes me happy. I make me happy. All i have to do is look in the mirror and see this pretty face and mad muscles and i know, everything is going to be allright.

I love the snow.

2004-12-19T19:14:00.000-08:00

Snow is little pieces of heaven falling from the sky. It is a reminder that we all need time to just stop and take it all in. Take a look outside and look at the beauty. I can't see how anyone could not like this time of year. 6 days till christmas and i still haven't bought a fucking present. That's right, not one. I am screwed. O well, worse comes to worse you'll all just get subway stamps. On a side note dave was succesfully droped off at the airport and his second flight ended in a firey crash. Also, tom n. died in surgery. His belongings will be sold at crazy low prices.

It's snowin' like a mother fucker

2004-12-19T11:28:00.000-08:00

Snow.

Mysterious ways.

2004-12-18T16:32:00.000-08:00

It was right there all along. You ever look for something for hours and then realize that it was right in front of you the whole time. I went on a feeling. I realized that a could not just stand there, not move on the moment, not follow the feeling. There something in those seductive spanish eyes that just hypnotizes. Might post more later. Maybe.

Is Tom N. dead?

2004-12-16T21:05:00.000-08:00

We don't know yet, but i'm taking bets. $10 increments no checks please. Anyways i'm happy. Yes happy and sober. Now there's somethin' ya don't hear from me everyday. I've decided not to quit smoking. Nobody likes a quitter. Also, to go with this good mood, i'm spending a good deal of my break working out and chillin at monroeville mall (Britta works there). Today in other tom news, i'm writing another song. This one's gonna be good. Also my new hero is Colin Ferrell. He's the bomb.

They all live in a world of snakes and ladders, other lies and mistruths. Colin Ferrell

It's about fucking time.

2004-12-16T13:47:00.000-08:00

After literally dozens minutes of studing the semester is finally over. Thank you God. This has possible been the most fucked up 5 months of my life. I have no regrets for anything that i have done or said only for what i didn't. May this break and lots of alcohol help me to blur any memory of this last semester. All but one. It's funny how things work out. Last day of class, and i finally take jason and jerome's advise and go for it. She didn't see it coming as she sat in her honda accord. She had a smile of curiousity as I stood by her car. She probally saw it coming. I asked Britta out. Sorry ladies. Last but not least I got to send a big fuck you to my easy but long business final and a big hug to Britta and Jason for making this sorry excuse for a man into a happier sorry excuse for a man. To the past, a wrecking ball. To the future a loud, smoking, alcoholic.

All in all it was all just bricks in the wall.
All in all you were all just bricks in the wall. - Pink Floyd

Holy Shit a talkin' muffin

2004-12-14T20:16:00.000-08:00

Well today was a bitch and half. Talking to corporate smucks, and sitting in a chair. Almost to hard to handle. I'd post more but, i'm going to take a nice long bubble bath and soak in the aroma of lavander. Ahhhh. I'm as close to a chick you're gonna find in a straight guy.

Give me a chance and you'll see. I can make you happy.

Fuck this Final Exam

2004-12-13T10:48:00.000-08:00

I just took the easiest fucking exam ever. Tom 1, Bio 0. The best thing is that i didn't study. The book made it inside, but it didn't get opened. Hahaha. Who's the king now? Well i'm conitnuing on my happy streak (you're not the only one waiting for a bitter end) and life's great. You see, when stop woring and live like the jerome, you find that this life dosen't matter in the least. All we can do is make the best for ourselves and others. I've allready proved that i can half-ass my way through, now it's time to focus myself on others. In particular, to make you happy. You may never feel the same way i do, but i can die happy if I can make you happy.

All I want to do is make you happy

2004-12-12T14:52:00.000-08:00

Life is all about chances. Everyday we take chances. There are some chances we take and don't even realize it. You drive to work or where ever every day. You're taking a chance of getting in an accident. I've decided to cut back on some chances. I'm going to try to quit smoking so that i might have a chance at living long enough to make a certian someone happy. I have no real goals. All of my goals are very to this point were very me centered and didn't involve improving myself in the least. I see now that there is more to life than poor twisted me. My new life goal is to make the best of every moment and try my damn best to make someone happy. Until then, can one truly be happy?

But in the end if i'm with you
I'll take the chance- Richard Marx

Snow and smoke

2004-12-12T14:01:00.000-08:00

I haven't smoked yet today and it's almost 5:00. In the afternoon you fuckers. How do i feel? I feel like shit. My neck hurts, i can't eat, i'm shaky, and i'm cold. My lungs can't handle the fresh air. I feel like death. On a happier note it snowed a little today. I love snow. I'd also love a Camel Turkish Royal. Ahhhhh. Oh well, i'm trin' here. Peace out.

Boulevard of Broken Dreams

2004-12-10T19:28:00.000-08:00

Download Green Day Boulevard of Broken Dreams. Awesome song. Good day. I was at work and these pretty hot girls asked me to take a pic with them. Of course I did. I spent the rest of my day talking to a trainee manager and ripping a fucking ice cream apart 3 times. Overtime= Happy Tom. Went shopping with Alissa tonight and on the way home looked at the pretty Christmas lights. Though the lights were pretty, they didn't come close to my passenger's beauty. Alissa is the only person i could spent hours or days with and still want to spend more time with her. She's awesome. Well gotta call stotka so peace out yo.

My shadows the only one that walks beside me
My shallow hearts the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
Till then I'll walk alone. - Geen Day

Life's 2 Guaruntees

2004-12-09T19:54:00.000-08:00

Death and Taxes. All I've seen or heard in the last few days is shit about people dying. First Alissa's Grandma, then my Nana funeral plans(she's not dead yet), and stuff from my Grandpa. I've decided not to qiut smoking and eat as unhealthy as ever. My grandfather on my dad's side smoked 4 packs a day until he was 55 and ate a stick of peperoni everyday. He lived to the right full age of 67. My Nana has alzheimers like her mom did. Her only wish was that she wouldn't put us though the same thing. She can't even feed herself. I'd rather die at 67 than go through that. I'd also rather die cold and alone than put others through that. May you never fall for me.

Death is so finale for only the living.
The spirit will always remain. -Ozzy Osbourne

I just want to strangle someone.

2004-12-09T13:15:00.000-08:00

Have you ever felt so helpless
When the walls built to protect us
Suddenly are gone
And you hate everything that's breathing
The life you're used to cheating
Has finally caught on

Don't fear the reaper

2004-12-08T13:25:00.000-08:00

Last day of classes today. Thank God. I'm so fucking sick of this shit. I was told today that my very good friend is now most afraid of death. Me, I fear funeral homes. It night be because I constantly put myself at risk for early death ot maybe because it's death that holds the unknown. Allright i know what it really is but it's the one thing i keep to myself so fuck you. I'm gonna attempt to quit smoking but the consequences of not smoking don't out way the risks of smoking. Don't ask. Anyways my god damn check engine light went off so fuck you 89 octane. Last time i don't put premium in the tank. Well gonna go and ..well..do nothing.

Dec. 7, 1941-Pearl Harbor Day-A day that shall live in infamy

2004-12-07T21:04:00.000-08:00

WWII - When truma is brought on by other humans and not nature, it is even harder to recover.- Dr. Adair

It was just before dawn
One miserable morning in black 'forty four.
When the forward commander
Was told to sit tight
When he asked that his men be withdrawn.
And the Generals gave thanks
As the other ranks held back
The enemy tanks for a while.
And the Anzio bridgehead
Was held for the price
Of a few hundred ordinary lives.

And old King George
Sent Mother a note
When he heard that father was gone.
It was, I recall,
In the form of a scroll,
With gold leaf and all.

And I found it one day
In a drawer of old photographs, hidden away.
And my eyes still grow damp to remember
His Majesty signed
With his own rubber stamp.

It was dark all around.
There was frost in the ground
When the tigers broke free.
And no one survived
From the Royal Fusiliers Company C.
They were all left behind,
Most of them dead,
The rest of them dying.
And that's how the High Command
Took my daddy from me.

This train rolls on.

2004-12-07T13:28:00.000-08:00

Good day at work. I got to voice my opinion with minimal swearing. Did I earn any respect? Probally not, but I got a laugh out of the General Manager. Also, three hot moms came into work today. I love hot moms. I know, i know, but I still think hot moms are awesome. I decided to hit on of them and she told me to stop by her office in Bentlyville if I got a chance. I think I might. I think she thought I was a manager. I know, I'm evil. What can I say? No more thinking for Tom. Also i'm done feeling bad for myself. I don't deserve anything anyways. My own bad habits are now catching up to me. So fuck you yesterday, I'm getting ready to kick tommorow in face. That's right, in the face.

If you could lock the past away
Step back through the doorway
This ride has just begun
If I could change your point of view
Is there someway I can show you
The best is yet to come - SR-71

1.4 Million, bite that

2004-12-06T19:00:00.000-08:00

Closed a business deal, tried to get reservations (failed but can make more calls), might have sold a car for a friend, and had a miller with Monica and Brandon. Not a bad day at all. I find that shit happens, it's what you do when it happens that makes a difference. Me, I perfer to just walk away from bad days with my middle finger up, a cig in my mouth, a bottle in my hand, and mumbling obscenities. Fuck you bad days(including jerome, yeah we know about you). I see good thing ahead. That's right, I'm psychic, so fuck you.

Come notice me
And take my hand
So why are we
Strangers when
Our love is strong
Why carry on without me?

Changes

2004-12-05T15:16:00.000-08:00

Is there anyway to get over something you never had. Experience say: No, your fucked. I have underachieved to a new extreme and all I do about it is bitch on the blog. No more. Tommorow I get up and begin life as i did last year. That would be with a shower, a smoke, and a ride to education. Also no more what if. I tired of asking what if. That doesn't get you anywhere. What if i said something earlier. What if I waited. Allready fucked that up. Can't live in the past. Also no more what now. The present of a moment ago is already gone. It's time to ask myself what next. What next? For me I shall go into world and show it just how much of a dick i am and force it to give me it's money. Money can buy happiness. Mind you that it's only temorary happiness but hell, just get more money. This is the end of new Tom. Negativity, bite my ass.

One day you will look back
And you'll see
Where you were held
How? By this love
While you could stand there
You could move on this moment
Follow this feeling - U2

About this blog.

2004-12-05T10:03:00.000-08:00

If you already haven't figured it out this fucking blog is my vent. One day i'll publish the god damn shit and make tons of cash. However, in the mean time i will continue to let down all who read this. I'm gonna make some changes so keep reading. My top ten list had some responces so i'm making another. It should be up later. To all who comment, thanks. The blog is summed up as the following

And all these lines fall short of what I had in mind.
A failed attempt to capsulize a feeling,
so I just try fail and try and try again.
And someday, I swear I'm going to get it
because I'm convinced that giving in is the worst thing there is.-Straylight Run

Top Ten List #1

2004-12-04T20:18:00.000-08:00

Top Ten Reasons I'm Negative
10. I have been a dick for years and now i've lost some of it.
9. I fail ( or at least underachieve) at everything
8. God hates me(not that i blame him)
7. You work to live and live to work
6. I failed first year seminar
5. People can't drive
4. I'm too lazy to be lazy
3. The one thing i really tried at i failed at
2. My friends include a jew, an a-rab, nigga, coffee bitch, and sheep fuck
1. Life is just a series of shitty events that eventually kick you into your grave
My life story: I try to fail, and I fail to try

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK

2004-12-04T11:25:00.000-08:00

FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK, FUCK,

Thought it was cool

2004-12-02T18:47:00.000-08:00

You cannot touch me, you would not dare
I am the chill that's in the air - "The Small Hours"-Holocaust

Your all sheep.

2004-12-02T14:15:00.000-08:00

I got aim. It's superegosilence so message me if you want. Fuckers. Did I tell you what happened when I took Nichols to the petting zoo. All the sheep we passed went daaaaady, daaaady. Is it wrong to go on a date with someone if you know your not fully into the relationship? Is it allright to go ahead if the other person knows the preceding and dosen't care? Why god why? I hate thinking.
Pink Floyd - Sheep
Harmlessly passing your time in the grassland away
Only dimly aware of a certain unease in the air
You better watch out
There may be dogs about
I've looked over Jordan and I have seen
Things are not what they seem.

What do you get for pretending the danger's not real
Meek and obedient you follow the leader
Down well trodden corridors into the valley of steel
What a surprise!
A look of terminal shock in your eyes
Now things are really what they seem
No, this is no bad dream.

Is there anybody out there?

2004-12-01T16:54:00.000-08:00

What the hell is it about me that you don't like? Honestly, because what ever it is others seem to like it. If it's not the smoking, drinking, swearing, or laziness what the fuck is it? Why am I so fucking dumb? When did my super ego show up? Since when do I think about others before myself? I have a beautiful woman who wants to go out with me and my conscious won't let me because I know I wouldn't be in it whole heartedly. I mean what the fuck. This isn't Tom. 19 years of being a dick and all I have to show is this blog which shows my demise. I need a change of scenery. What happened to me?

I still get lost in your eyes
And it seems that
I can't live a day without you - Michelle Branch

I hate this feeling. I hate feeling.

2004-11-30T13:49:00.000-08:00

Congradulations
Today is another day
It's coming crashing down to break you again - Juliana Theory

How about that picture.

2004-11-29T19:58:00.000-08:00

How about it? Haven't thought of that moment a thousand times before.(obviously sarcastic). Do you believe in soul mates? I don't. I hate to think that some one out there is stuck with my dark empty soul. I prefer to think that it's more of an enter at own risk. Today: still sorting through the things that I've done and all I see is a dark end. I've been compared to Sisyphus in that the stone keeps rolling back down the hill even though I try agian and agian. Well the fucking stone better crush me this time cause I'm out of booze. There is no hope

I swear that I can go on forever again
Please let me know that my one bad day will end
I will go down as your lover, your friend
Give me your lips and with one kiss we begin
Are you afraid of being alone
Cause I am, I'm lost without you-Blink 182

A little ray of sunshine in an otherwise dark soul.

2004-11-27T22:00:00.000-08:00

Night a bean with Jason, Scott, and Alissa. Good friends and good music. It made me realize that I really miss Jerm and Tom. It's not the same without being able to ask Jerome what he thinks about Alissa. It's sad but your opinion really means alot. Also, there's no subsitute for Tom's advise. The night went well. There's something about Alissa that no one else has. She has this something that I can't explain. Like this inner beauty that is just breath taking. You will always have a special place in my smoke blackened heart.

And i will love you, baby - always
And i'll be there forever and a day - always
I'll be there till the stars don't shine
Till the heavens burst and
The words don't rhyme
And i know when i die, you'll be on my mind
And i'll love you - always - Bon Jovi

All the world's indeed a stage And we are merely players

2004-11-26T22:43:00.000-08:00

Cast in this unlikely role,
Ill-equipped to act
With insufficient tact
One must put up barriers
To keep oneself intact-RUSH
I know I've pissed a few people off in the last few day. But I say things and complian all the time and yet no one seems to get the fucking point until I'm a dick about it. If I have to be a dick to get people to listen than I'll stop trying to be civil. I can't put up with everything all the time. I have a short temper and an ever shorter tolerance for dumb shit. This is to everyone who I may come in contact with so don't feel personally offended. While I'm at it, If ya happen to know anyone who can put up with a smoking, evil, vulgar, underage drunk give them my number.
Note from chip: Here's to the crackheads, "OD next time, we're over head count."