Like you really care

Stop trying. I know you don't care. You ever meet the girl of your dreams and think that you might loose her forever just because your a lazy dumb fuck who didn't say anything when he should have, but waited until the worst possible time instead. No. This shit only happens to me. This fucking blog is begining to show me how bad of a person I am. You poeple are just as dumb as me for being my friends. I'm lazy, loud, vulgar, smoke filled, drunk, hopeless, and maybe more of a bum than Jerome. I hate everything. Will I leave this life empty and alone because of my unsympathetic attitude towards everyone? Will anyone ever want to be with me? Or should I not try to find this person because I will probally end up hurting them like I hurt myself? Will there ever be a bright day in this lonely place I call my heart? It's not looking up yet but things can change right? Altough lately things have gone from bad to worse. Oh well.