I'm at a place called vertigo.

ver·ti·go: A confused, disoriented state of mind.

I don't really know what the hell i want right now. I thought i knew what i wanted but more and more i find i don't know. I always wanted to have a ton of cash to buy myself a sluegh of things. All the things i thought would make me happy just don't seem to cut it anymore. I want as relationship with real meaning, feeling, care. I want/need someone who just wants me for me. The little surfer boy looking, funny, sarcastic, alcoholic i am. Someone who i just want to spend time with and who wants to spend time with me. Someone who i happy just being around me and someone i am happy just to be around. Someone i can hold i my arms and know there's a mutual feeling of content and security. Someone who i can really share emotions with. Someone to love, and someone who loves me.